Every single word I said, I whole-heartedly meant. Nothing was contrived. Each sentence was precise. It all felt new to me. We all want affection, but there's worse things than rejection...like being a number. Who today will you prefer? It all felt new to me. How did I not see, to you it was routine?
Track Name: Yurovsky's Note
The revolution is done, but it's hard to tell who won. Anastasia is dead; she learned her lesson in lead. Her tiny body is scorched - not cremated - scorched and burned. Arising with the smoke of another mass grave, her sister's unfinished prayer fell on what seemed were deaf ears. What is so surprising? It has always been that way. And so the new regime, uses the old means of violence and coercion to make people think, to make people believe, that they have all they could have ever wanted: just to be saved by the devil they didn't know. What is so surprising? It has always been that way.
Track Name: The Big Rad Wolf
Let's not forget or close our eyes in feign sleep when we know the purveyors of misery are so far removed from decency. What do they know of our poverty? As they spin in leather chairs, remember who put them there. When dollars make sense as a tool to measure lives... when a product is consumed without considering the price (of how consumption affects others) a voice calls out, a cry for change: "I am Legion, for we are many." Most of my life I recall felling hopeless in a world that seems so shameless. Did everyone forget that the two votes that (actually) make a difference are the dollar and actions? I won't pretend that I'm not still a part of the problem, convenience still holds my heart, but with every day that a choice has been made it makes tomorrow a bit easier. Every day it will be easier.
Track Name: Medicate
Last night, once again, I couldn't fall asleep. My therapist would say I over think things. I live in the past... well... practically. So please medicate me. Maybe then I could quit sleeping on the couch, and using the quiet drone of movies to distract myself from wondering whether she would have loved me the way that I loved her if I let her hurt me just a little bit longer.
Track Name: Silent Saturday
I remember when Steven called my parent's house. He didn't say hi. He just made me promise that I would never leave his side. I guess a lot of time has passed since then, right? Then why can't I get that night off of my mind? I thought that since summer was perfect, autumn would follow suit, that basement shows would never end, and there would be another chance to see all those new friends. When I said goodbye, it haunts me that I didn't hug him. But he said he would call before the weekend, but Friday was as silent as Saturday. My parents sent me the article on Sunday... but Friday was as silent as Saturday. I guess a lot of time has passed since then, right? So why can't I get that night off of my mind? Steven, how could you have swallowed all those pills? I'm still waiting for you to call and for you to tell me that it's not my fault, but there's no resurrection, there's just decay.